Is that a bomb or are you just happy to see me?

So the latest stupid TSA story comes out of O'hare. I have been through there numerous times, and I guess just being the busy airport it is, there are bound to be some crazy stories. This one just stuns me. There was this man in his early 20s traveling out of O'Hare with his mother. Now ORD is known for delays due to ATC, weather, and of course the long check-in lines, but the delay that resulted from this guy’s stupidity could last three years.

Going through security right before his mother, the guy’s bag drew some attention from the TSA screener. The bag was pulled aside and the man was questioned about what was inside. Apparently terrified of his mother finding out what he was packing, he said that the item that was under question for its strange appearance and its electronic mechanisms was in fact a bomb. Well, anyone was has traveled after 9/11 knows that one of the worst things you can do in an airport is even think the word bomb, much less say it. Needless to say, the guy was taken into custody, and the b-word squad was brought it. After examining the bag and its contents, the man had to face even more questioning. It was then, laughing, he finally admitted the truth. The 'bomb' was in fact an electronic penis pump that he was too embarrassed to let his mother know about. Well, he was laughing, but very few other people were. I know his laughter probably stopped very quickly after he found out he was being charged with FELONY disorderly conduct, which has a sentence of up to 36 months in FEDERAL PRISION.

Now, I go through TSA security more times in a week than some people go through in a year. TSA screeners are generally pretty good finding things in bags that even could appear questionable. That is their job. Now, as far as I know, the sexual help aids are not under the TSA's list of prohibited items, but do sometimes contain a decent amount of electronics, and quite honestly, could draw concern through the security screening process. I would hope that if you are old enough to be using the devices that you are old enough to not be so embarrassed to tell TSA what it truly is to avoid being arrested and losing 3 years of your life to the prison system.

I guess I will never know what crosses some people's minds. But I guess the best advice for those who want to travel with their "friends" would be to CHECK THE BAGS. It still goes through the screening, but you won't be questioned in front of your mother about what the device truly is.

So to this genius who will now have the pleasure of spending a while behind bars, just remember, don't drop the soap!